Monday, December 7, 2015

Working on 30

I considered myself to be a passionate person, someone who found flight in fantasy a felicific place to land;  so when I heard people say 50 is the new 30, I examined areas of my physical & spiritual being that might reflect this youthful image.
My reality however, is not looking or feeling 30 but the true signs of 50. Since having foot surgery a year ago I've found myself in a downward spiral that continues to increase my signs of aging.  I've spoken to others who are beginning to feel the same signs of aging as we strive for our youthful appearance to remain perennial.
Personal struggles come in a variety of styles. How I move beyond those challenges is harder for me more than others.  Being a supportive friend or family member requires a true loving heart, an investment of time and we know having an abundance of time is a hot commodity these days. 
If you are that friend or family member, remember what works for you may not work for others, so sensitivity is beneficial in your efforts. 
Sharing my personal experience in aging is very hard for me. I always thought of myself as a strong positive person, someone that would live a long life, see my skinny side again, be healthy and happy all the fantasy thoughts, pursuing my passion.  Since having foot surgery, I struggle with chronic pain, I withdraw from people and activities I love to avoid someone seeing my struggles.  I get depressed, I get angry because of my situation and find that being alone is safer than having to tell someone how I really feel.
I am not giving up, I will not present myself as a woman who has "given up on life."  With all that I have, I will succeed beyond these struggles and get my happy back.  I've lost a few friends along this journey and have the pleasure of making new ones.
I am not sure what my future holds but I know what I want and will give all I have to achieve happiness that reflects my new 30! 

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