Monday, May 31, 2010

It's My Turn Now to Live

What is left to say, when you find the man you believed you would spend the rest of your life with, in the arms of another woman? That was my question, as I stood and watched the man I loved for the past 8 years in the arms of another older woman, as if fate had raised its ugly head to say, "Aha" there it is, another cheater!

That very moment, the inner-woman erupted within me and began to boil, causing me to run from myself, out of fear of what was going to happen next. When the final strike of the match hit the near the already explosive volcano, all hell broke loose. One hour was given, out of mercy to this man to obtain any worldly possessions he desired within that hour or those items could be retrieved on the street as I threw them over the 17th floor apartment balcony. During that hour, it took him 20 minutes to get home, 30 minutes to collect his already prepared items and ten minutes of listening to me while I let the flows of hot lava run it's course. Torn pictures of our life together carpeted his temporary bedroom as he gathered what he felt was important in his life, and leaving memories of us in torn pieces that would eventually be swept away.

Pain, you want to talk about pain, I have never experienced pain like that before. And who the hell was that woman that revealed herself from deep within? As I stood in the mirror that night and saw the lines under my eyes, I mourned for that woman in the mirror; she was a life-time friend who was at the lowest point in her life. Beautiful, yet ugly, strong yet so very weak, social but very much alone. Why did God allow this to happen to me I asked, and knew the answer would soon be revealed. You see, God has always been my strength, not man. I have been here before, I know the signs and I have learned to listen.....

He was right, I am learning so much about myself that I believe women may find themselves in the very shoes I once stood in. I want to help women understand what makes them special; how to focus on their inner woman and listen to her; and how to allow herself to find true love, her way.

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