Sunday, April 14, 2013

Pebbles In My Pocket

Do not look at the stones in my pocket and get the wrong idea…they are “Pebbles” and they are reminders of my journey of uncovering dysfunction, long-suffering, gaining understanding and learning “I am responsible” for me.

I was born and raised in Orlando, FL; spent 27 years of my life married, divorced twice, raised two children along with two beautiful grandchildren, and now at the age of 50 have begun the journey to discover who I am.

My creative passion took a back seat to my “need to provide” for my family, while learning how to survive and carry these pebbles in my pocket that I picked up along my journey through crisis situations. My biggest challenges after the kids were on their own were, understanding the reasons behind “why I never pursued my dreams”, “why I face emotional traumas alone”, “why my lack of confidence” had crippled me from achieving success that I know was mine.

Understand that my success lives in my mind and is felt in my spirit. Success became my comfort like a friend who stayed by my side. I recently gained the understanding that “this is not my fault” mentality is healthy and learning to love myself enough to step out and make change happen has begun to release success from the chains of bondage and are now free to roam about the country!

During this “discovery” phase, I found myself at life’s cross-roads, looking for the right path that would lead me to my long-awaited happiness. As I glanced in each direction, a consuming cyclone of confusion blew through my cross-roads. Falling helplessly into this vacuum, I saw glimpses of my lost hopes and dreams, forgotten passions, all the chances I never took, out of fear of failure were circling around me; my first thought was, “they are taunting me” but the pebbles in my pocket enabled me to understand the cries from the cyclone, were cries for help, to be pulled from purgatory, to enable the intended purpose for my life to be fulfilled.

I will share MY story as I continue to discover myself, my family and why struggles have made me a better person. I will share how special people along my journey, helped form me to be who I am today. Looking back, I remember asking myself why God put people in your life to later remove them…now I know…they represent some of the pebbles I carry with me today.
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